wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
