threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
