I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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