i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
