just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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