After last night, I could never be a politician.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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