You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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