I just saw a hot homeless man
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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