im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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