btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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