Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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