The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize