Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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