i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Randomize
