Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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