Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
