4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize