I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
