She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
COCAINE IS GR8
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
