So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
