Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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