On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize