glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
