my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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