you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
