Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i barfeds in our rink
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
