I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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