i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
