if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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