Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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