i don't want you to think of me as your TA
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
