I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Randomize
