# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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