Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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