it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The feeling are messing with the penis
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
not ubering you a puppy
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
