...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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