Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
