You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
