hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Still dying that you shit outside
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We had sex on a dog bed..
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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