i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
either way he was missing a nipple.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
