Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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