He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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