Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
