dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
high people should be assigned attendants
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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