Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
