i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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