Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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