16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
