i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
