can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
