I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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