If i come over, it means nothing
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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