Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
