he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
