the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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