theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
