i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
