Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
