Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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