dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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