I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
