I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize