I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
