I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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