then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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