I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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