Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
