How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
