I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
