you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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