I think my fart just growled at me.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
