So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
