Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well I just put wine in my tea
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
