At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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