i barfeds in our rink
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize
