you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
