and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
