shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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