i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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