my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Text me some of your sweat
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
